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Therapy can be basically paid (I would argue - false) empathy, and in many cases vastly inferior to less transactional relationships.

> As a practicing Psychotherapist for over 25 years,

I'm trying to find a therapist after about 20 intermittent years of disappointing therapy experiences.

I find CBT trite ( https://slatestarcodex.com/2015/07/16/cbt-in-the-water-suppl... )

But psychodynamic is directionless and in a way that never seems to help either, and hides behind the lack of measurement. It could be amazing with a wise Irvin Yalom figure, but 99% of us aren't interacting with somebody that thoughtful.

How well, generally, do you think therapy works? What works best?


I'm absolutely intrigued by your story and want to hear a fuller account, if there's any chance you are willing.


Oh I'm sure there will be a book, this was my lead investor (who is now dead): https://nypost.com/2021/03/05/man-who-fatally-beat-law-order...

I'm still processing the whole thing myself to be honest, it was all quite a lot, traumatic, but once day I'll write a book about it.


WTF….

> Dardaris had entrusted her pooches to the care of a dog-sitter, who was Tang’s then-girlfriend, in the fall of 2019 while she acted in a play in South Carolina, she previously told The Post.

> Tang snuck into his girlfriend’s apartment when she wasn’t home and viciously tortured Dardaris’s white-furred companions Oct. 24, 2019.

> After fatally beating Alex, Tang was accused of taking Frankie to the building’s rooftop and punching, throwing and kicking him.

And he served no jail time and just got a slap on the wrist. Completely insane behavior, who does that?


Chai from a coffee shop or mix is a sugar drink, which is why it is delicious.


Completely true, but comparable with lots of other coffee drinkers habits. I make mine half chai concentrate from a local restaurant and half 2% milk in small portion sizes of about 120 calories, so I don't feel _too_ bad about it.

I might have slightly more sugar than is strictly recommended DV, but not by much.


Hopefully he means milk tea. Which is indeed great, but so is a good coffee.


Honestly - leave the whale, jungles, and over-touristed Tokyo-ites alone.

Travel lightly, get a feel for different environments and cultures, then take that perspective to your hometown.

Travel is frosting. The cake can be building a meaningful life that involves community, maybe family, and possibly meaningful work.


I worked remotely from Tenerife last year. I was there two months, at first it was great, everything new and novel. But it wears off and towards the end of my stay I longed for home, community and my usual routine.

The best balance is occaisonal "pattern interrupts" like travel abroad (or within your own country). You do not necessarily need big sweeping vacations or "experiences". A bike ride in a forest for a few days with a friend you have not seen for months can give you that mental refreshment.


Savings and savings accounts are being conflated here.

One can have a small amount a savings account with plenty withdraw-able assets in Mutual Funds etc to fall back on


In this context, “savings” includes all liquid assets.


I appreciate Derek Sivers. (And he is active on HN, so - hi)

Derek does though tend to act in, or advocate for, the absolute extreme.

I remember an old story where Derek micromanaged CDBaby knowing how to do every thing including write all the code in Rails. Burning out, he then trusted his employees to run his company completely without him. Derek became painfully disillusioned when his employees betrayed him under zero oversight, and sold the company. My thinking reading this years ago was the wise path was probably more reasonable delegation with reasonable oversight.

It is ok to reject the shiny extreme. Moderation is beautiful.


I also appreciate Derek and his writing. But his style is like catnip to the 20-something-single-guy part of my lizard brain: sometimes he's missing a degree of duty, responsibility and community consciousness as he approaches situations. You've got to read his stuff with a critical eye, because a lot of it ignores the responsibilities that a mature grown person has.


I recall the cotton tees of my youth being stiff and terrible-feeling.


Did your mother (or whomever did the laundry) dry them on a clothesline? Air-dried clothes will be a bit more stiff than tumble-dried.


When I was younger, it was common to add starch to make the cotton easier to iron etc - that would definitely make it stiff. Thankfully we don't do that anymore. Comfortwise, Cotton beats practically any other fabric + it gets softer the longer you use it so in a way it actually incentivizes reuse.


100% cotton can be waaay comfier than poly blends. Just depends on the weave/wash


One reason the most minor of collisions are so expensive to repair is that car designs no longer include bumpers.


Bumpers that left the car drivable (i.e. lights still worked and stuff) after an X mph impact were required in the US in the 80s.

People complained a ton about those and how they made cars look ugly.


There are many possibilities around the candidate's behavior. They could be going through a manic episode, or autistic, or just a jerk, or scammer.

OP handled it well, but two things I would do differently in responding.

1. "Sorry you feel that way". I never apologize for other people's feelings, only my own actions, when am am sincerely sorry. "Not-really-apologies" are, IMO, always in bad taste.

2. Not sign emails using "best". Best what? Obviously this is up for interpretation but a dangling best is (IMO) corny and exudes "I am writing unnaturally and I think this is how professional people write"


Best is short for "best regards" and is, in fact, how many professional people write. I agree with the rest.


I wouldn't have even responded to the first E-mail. The guy is clearly trolling at that point, and nothing good can come from feeding him.


Not sure if being autistic on its own would cause this, but I suppose it's often comorbid with other things. Otherwise I agree.


I would have not responded at all.


Totally valid, and agree.


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