I feel the same pain. In my opinion, it may happen a lot because "many programmers" just code whatever they (we) are paid for to code. The progress here would probably be in starting taking full responsibility for even tiny parts of what we produce, with no excuses.
Thank you for sharing your story. I agree it would be interesting to look into the more details in the future. Using Scheme instead of Javascript sounds fascinating too.
Did you have a chance to compare Forth to other stack-based languages, with some opinion as a result?
In my case the only thing worked out fine was: stop forcing yourself to do the things you don't want being doing. Or better rephrased as: do only the things you enjoy doing.
This approach required a lot of courage, because I had to change a lot in my life. At some point I had to even accept that I might end up never coding again. But that proved wrong after several months of being mostly away from computer, reading books, walking, drawing, making yoga, doing all the enjoyable things that came to my mind. In my case F. Perls with his approach to living in here and now had helped me to switch to the new style of life, directed by true inner desires.