So you basically sat on your ass and said "somebody teach me"? No wonder that your colleagues from university got so much better.

I never got much help from other people. In the beginning, I didn't have anybody interested in computers around me at all, yet I managed to learn programming. Then, when I started studying IT and switched to Linux, and I didn't have anybody to systematically learn working with unix from. This happened when I didn't have an access to the internet, and we had very little learning material published (first half of '00 decade), so it wasn't even possible for me to ask a question on StackOverflow or something.

And then the pattern repeats a number of times.

It's not mentoring that helps people grow. It's learning. It can be done with a teacher/mentor (and in fact it's easier in a number of fields), but it doesn't require one. Don't blame others for your own idleness.

Point wasn't that I was lazy, point was that I had the impression after university I'm a dev and get a job and work.

That's a great admission, to admit that to yourself let alone in a pseudo-public environment shows growth and maturity so many tech people often lack

I want to be good in what I do, not just think I am good.

Many people can take enough from simply feeling better than everyone around them.

On the other hand I often feel bad about myself, which isn't good either.

Are you saying it took you 9 years of seeing other people know and learn things you weren't taught at the Uni before you realized you could look things up with Google?

No, I looked many things up and I learned, but it wasn't much and really unstructured.

I just came to work and did what had to be done. After years I learned that there is much more and I don't have to fear things that are outside of my comfort zone.

Then I still don't understand what's your point.

That's okay.