Granted it's just using Java calls (no magic), but still fun.

Are those called wall-hack for the reason I think they are? If so, awesome.

It's a spoof alrticle -a joke - and "private" and "protected" were never about the legality of letting other parties access things - they were just conveniences for the developers and the tools to make it clear what could be optimized how, and what should and should talk to what.

Hm? I was referring to the Clojure link in the comment above. (And they're the functions linked are no joke)