What is the point of having a kid if you still want to start a successful business, become a rockstar, climb mt. Everest etc...?

A lot of people already have kids and do a very poor job at it -- giving them little time. Having a kid nowadays it's mostly a decision you can make. It isn't worth to bring to the world yet another kid that will by age 12 hate their parents and have huge emotional issues as they grow, because papa and mama were busy with their careers.

So, I'd say, only do properly one thing. Other people will say that they get better at this or that, or that it is reasonable. I don't find that possible at all. I have a dog and my duties(cleaning, cooking, exercising, full-time job etc) and my wife already takes up all my time and makes me wish I had more time to spend with them.

I also want to have a kid, but after weighting down those things, I think it is unfair: there is no way me + wife can give the same amount of time my parents(mainly mother) gave me. The current way society works kind of sucks in that regard. We can barely afford rent and basic expenses even though we both went to college and got better jobs than our parents.

>> A lot of people already have kids and do a very poor job at it -- giving them little time.

Exactly the reason why we haven't yet decided to have a kid.

All my past few software jobs have been multi geo and that really kills any sort of me time that you can devote to yourself and family. After reaching home, again there are calls in the evenings. I have given up any hope of finding a software job that lets me work in one geo in one timezone. If I don't like my evenings, I am not so sure the kid is going to like it with me either!

I still have fun memories of spending great time with my parents after they were both home in the evening, I just can't see that happening. I also know how much important a part that time sharing played in my growing years.

I think if I can't devote that kind of time to the child, it is better not to have one.

Raising a kid is a serious responsibility, just like anything else one deeply cares about.

I started my company after I had my first kid when she was only 1 years old. So yea, it is very possible. Nothing should stop you except your own insecurities. It definitely gets a bit harder with children but it is not why you will fail. Change your mentality and focus on the goal of starting a company. Use your family/kids as an advantage instead of hinderance. For example, I got more disciplined after my kid was born and it has made me a better and organized person. I HAVE to wake up early even if I don't feel like it. That is a good thing. So make this an advantage and go do what you want to do.

I started out with family... it was though, especially if your spouse / partner doesn’t understand demands of startup.

That said, I recently became a father again (after a big gap) and surprisingly I manage my time way better now - yes, it’s challenging but also brings about laser focus and in my opinion forced work-home balance.

I did. Even spent a few months away from home at the accelerator to get stuff done. You'll need a supportive spouse and co-founder. It helped that I was broke. Family members are much less supportive of those who leave a good job to do a startup, than those who do it because they have no choice.

If you can arrange your life optimally, I'd recommend not running a startup while your kids are small. You'll constantly struggle to divide your time.

But people certainly do it and succeed. Many YC founders have had young children.

Which YC founders had kids when going through YC?

I know at least one personally. He was in W2019 batch. He has 2 young kids. I’m sorry I don’t see anything public about his startup yet on google, I prefer to keep it private. But he’s doing a great job while being a great dad.

Yes. A couple years ago I started a marketing consultant and have 2 side projects in the works.

What helps is; 1) I WFH so I am about for school run and I can work before and after dinner easily plus school events as its a 5 min drive. 2) My partner works shift work usually 3 days so housework is largely done by them. Plus occasional 1 shift weeks so I schedule travel around these periods. 3) You dont have to work 24/7. I tend to work from 9-4 then 8-12. So I get morning and afternoon with kids. I'll close that gap if needed but that leaves plenty of time for kids. 4) I live on a small farm so I feel this keeps a balance as most days I'll be out feeding animal or doing something physical. This way I dont mind being screen heavy. Also I can do activities with the family form the doorset like ride horses/dirt bike or do a quick bush walk etc.

I find the biggest issues; 1) is ability to take holidays. To shut shop for a few weeks is near impossible in my current situation so I take a laptop everywhere. I feel this is the biggest impact. 2) With consultant work it limits time for the other business. If my partner was a better earner I might focus on the side business full time but seems too risky. I might be more risk friendly here without a family but not incredibly so.

A'so, a bit deep, but whats important to you? I look at the time with my family and would prefer to earn a middle wage with that than be the world first trillionaire without. Obviously everyone is unique here but I would prefer to have less money and more children.

I've been freelancing on the side for over a decade, but when my first born was around one I started really pushing it, I currently try to work between 10-15 hrs on the side when my kids are sleeping. It takes time to find a pattern that works for you, your clients (if you have clients), and your family.

Communication is key for this, your spouse has to be 100% on board or there is going to be resentment on one side or another.

Unfortunately, when you have a family, any time you put towards work will take away from your family - there is just no way around that. Even if you're with your family, if you're on your phone then your kids and spouse will notice that.

If anything having a family made me realize how important it was it was to do so with the extra expense and the desire for increased flexibility. I started Tesults (https://www.tesults.com) after having two children. You need a very supportive partner and weirdly having kids makes you better at time management, you can’t mess around when you get an hour to yourself - you’ve got to make that hour productive and have it count!

You know, healthy people are flexible and versatile, so they adapt to any situation. In general, running any kind business and being a parent at the same time is normal. But if you have a choice, it's better to focus on one thing.

I had 2 kids recently (2yo & 3yo currently). It’s still possible to run a startup! (I’m doing it)

The key for me was to find a great location. (countryside + 10 minutes from school/daycare + good internet connection)

Leaving the Bay Area was the right thing to do...

Thanks so much for sharing!

We started our company last year with: 1 with gf (I think not yet engaged, but unsure lol), 1 married no kids (me), 1 just had a baby, 1 married with 2 kids. I bet you’re one of these :) It just works, no worries.

I'm currently working at a place started by a husband/wife team with three kids, two of which were born before they started the company.

One of SendGrid's founders had a young family when he created the company.