"He dared to ask what would happen if he were to truly listen and hold space, without jamming the meeting with his ideas on what to do and how to solve things."
Over the past year I have made a conscious effort to do this in all my conversations. Two things really stood out for me: first, I was a REALLY bad listener. I would interrupt a lot because I assumed I knew what the person was getting at.
The second is that sooooo many people do that as well and it's incredibly frustrating to be interrupted like that. What's worse; about 75% of the time they are completely wrong about what I'm about to say. Just as I was when I did this. Not long ago, I had finally had my fill with an Amazon support rep and had to interrupt his constant interruptions and say, "You have GOT to stop answering questions I'm not asking." He thankfully realized what he was doing and took a step back to listen to what my problem really was.
Another thing I've noticed is that the smarter the person is and/or perceives themselves to be and/or are told they are, the more they do this. Which means, this happens a LOT in technology circles, which is unfortunate given how critical communication is to our jobs.
It has really made a positive difference in how I deal with people though. In listening to people, and I mean really listening to them (with intent to understand and not just to reply) you learn so much more about that person. You notice things about them that you hadn't noticed before. You come to understand them at a deeper level I feel. This kind of listening is definitely something I'm trying to continue.
Have more than thou showest,
Speak less than thou knowest,
Lend less than thou owest,
Ride more than thou goest,
Learn more than thou trowest,
Set less than thou throwest;
Leave thy drink and thy whore,
And keep in-a-door,
And thou shalt have more
Than two tens to a score.
Over the past year I have made a conscious effort to do this in all my conversations. Two things really stood out for me: first, I was a REALLY bad listener. I would interrupt a lot because I assumed I knew what the person was getting at.
The second is that sooooo many people do that as well and it's incredibly frustrating to be interrupted like that. What's worse; about 75% of the time they are completely wrong about what I'm about to say. Just as I was when I did this. Not long ago, I had finally had my fill with an Amazon support rep and had to interrupt his constant interruptions and say, "You have GOT to stop answering questions I'm not asking." He thankfully realized what he was doing and took a step back to listen to what my problem really was.
Another thing I've noticed is that the smarter the person is and/or perceives themselves to be and/or are told they are, the more they do this. Which means, this happens a LOT in technology circles, which is unfortunate given how critical communication is to our jobs.
It has really made a positive difference in how I deal with people though. In listening to people, and I mean really listening to them (with intent to understand and not just to reply) you learn so much more about that person. You notice things about them that you hadn't noticed before. You come to understand them at a deeper level I feel. This kind of listening is definitely something I'm trying to continue.