In a sense the religious folk are more dangerously individualistic.

While the secular folk make connections with other (real) humans, the religious folk connect with a fantasy ... their "community" is just an assumption that everyone does/should share their fantasy ... and they become pretty damn nasty when that delusion is threatened.

Now that's objectively not right. Most charities anywhere from the red cross to community outreach programs in inner cities are religious in nature. You are trying to say what I said but you seem to be applying your own bias. Most die hard donald trump supporters don't even claim to be heavily religious for example. My point was secularists sometimes act as religious people should and vice versa but at the root of it individualism is to blame. I am suggesting secularism naturally leads to individualism but so does insincere or ill motivated religion. You are talking at the individual level but I was suggesting at a national level.

Individually people are diffrent and surprising but when a divided nation embraces secularism it leads to individualism which eliminates diplomatic and civil compromises that maintain a stable society.

Why are other western nations not this way? I am not sure they're as immune as you think. Not having similar diversity and division might be a factor but with the US, foreign actors have actively flamed divisions and encouraged individualistic and tribalist ideologies through social media. The US has plenty of divisions, a culture war and plenty of catalysts. But this all was true in the cold war and in the 90s, what changed now in my observation is the country switched from something like maybe a quarter secularists to a popular majority secularists.

You should also beware, statistically plenty of people might claim a religion because they were raised that way, they are not saying they actively practice,they are saying that's their tribe. Big difference.

Britain is exhibitih mildet but similar issues as the US if you would care for a comparison.