I realized during failures, that the pain I was experiencing was due to me placing my self-worth on external events / entities. It's a very subtle thing that slips very subconsciously. Look around you, almost everyone gets a high from a bit of external positive occurrences / feedback.

What helped me get centred is realizing that I am a better judge of my self-worth and letting the failures and successes be the measure of my self-worth is tiresome. Balance is key.

Understanding that real life success most often requires some degree of luck / network also helps.