For me, that looked like understanding past trauma, and then doing the work: meditation, journaling, fixing diet and exercise, sleeping better, and enhancing existing relationships with friends and family.
Then, I felt more comfortable knowing myself and being my authentic self. With that foundation in place, I put real energy into expanding my communities. I put myself out there. I asked people to hang out, and I shared my struggles. I was more comfortable being vulnerable.
There are other tactics that have worked. I introduced like-minded people to one another and let those connections grow on their own. I spend time on touching base. When I read an article or see a tweet that a distant friend might enjoy, I send it. And ask how they are doing. I lean into curiosity about others. Ask people probing questions about their lives, hopes, fears.
"When I read an article or see a tweet that a distant friend might enjoy, I send it."
This is also a trick I commonly employ. I rekindle our common interests with things I'm learning or reading and it is serves as a great launch point for discussion when we reconnect. I've affectionately earned a reputation among my friends as a "spammer", but perhaps that is better than "absentee"!
In general communications with your more distant friends have considerably higher Shannon entropy than communications with close friends, for obvious reasons. Which means that often it's a real treat to get messages like that.
For me, that looked like understanding past trauma, and then doing the work: meditation, journaling, fixing diet and exercise, sleeping better, and enhancing existing relationships with friends and family.
Then, I felt more comfortable knowing myself and being my authentic self. With that foundation in place, I put real energy into expanding my communities. I put myself out there. I asked people to hang out, and I shared my struggles. I was more comfortable being vulnerable.
There are other tactics that have worked. I introduced like-minded people to one another and let those connections grow on their own. I spend time on touching base. When I read an article or see a tweet that a distant friend might enjoy, I send it. And ask how they are doing. I lean into curiosity about others. Ask people probing questions about their lives, hopes, fears.