This may be a grass is greener situation, but my personal experience basically differs from yours completely. My parents should have been divorced long before they actually did. They stuck together because Chinese parents were expected to do so for their children. They got along ok as long as if they treated each other as regular acquaintances, but I never got a hint that they liked each other at all and they often fought when they had to cooperate. I always felt a sense of unease on vacation unless if I was traveling with other friends and could just ignore my parents. I treat people I'm close to worse than they deserve, and I think part of that reason is because my parents were so cold to each other.
> Except in cases of physical violence
This reminds me that my mom blames my dad for making her angry, and taking it out on me. Part of it was her being a Tiger Mom and I think she genuinely has some anger management issues, but I think there was some truth in this. If she had another partner, they probably have an easier time controlling her emotions.
To be fair, my situation was unique because they had barely known each other before they had gotten married, and I think they were simply fundamentally incompatible with each other, like oil and water. I'm completely baffled about why they decided to get married in the first place, but thinking about this more, it might have been a shotgun marriage.
Honestly I have a very similar experience, but the opposite conclusion. Two parents from an Asian country who don't really get along and are very different. I'm glad they stayed together. First of all I know my mother wouldn't have fared very well alone, with outdated skills in a country foreign to her. I also don't think my father would have really done so great either given how different he is from the greater culture-- Asian culture is just so far from western culture that after a certain age you have an impossibly hard time trying to fit in. They may be like oil and water, but I'm glad they have each other. Despite the arguments they both have their needs met and provide a stable home for their kids(and are rewarded for it with regular visits from grandkids during which all their distance seems to evaporate).
I also think their marriage can seem strange, but given where they come from I just don't think marriages based on love were common. Heck it's basically a modern convention. It's nice that we have the(some of us anyways), but it's by no means the norm for humanity. Even today many people get married to people they don't know well. For a lot of people staying single and just feelings things out isn't doable.
> Except in cases of physical violence
This reminds me that my mom blames my dad for making her angry, and taking it out on me. Part of it was her being a Tiger Mom and I think she genuinely has some anger management issues, but I think there was some truth in this. If she had another partner, they probably have an easier time controlling her emotions.
To be fair, my situation was unique because they had barely known each other before they had gotten married, and I think they were simply fundamentally incompatible with each other, like oil and water. I'm completely baffled about why they decided to get married in the first place, but thinking about this more, it might have been a shotgun marriage.