The idea of marriage is statistically, demonstrably overdue for an overhaul. It doesn't work for at least half of people, and definitely shouldn't be a disaster when it predictably fails.

We need sane legal agreements for each dimension of marriage, child rearing, property division etc. And support systems to humanely shepherd people through life changes. Instead we try to preserve the illusion of a life where everyone is guaranteed a partner who will always be there.

I am grateful every day for my no contest divorce. If anyone is near divorce my advice is bend and shoot for no contest. Try to focus on mutual well being. Courts can do nothing but transfer assets to lawyers.