I'm 64 and I've only kept one life long friendship going on 30 years. All the others are gone and don't want to haven anything to do with me. Thinking about it now, I've kept the one friendship for a few reasons. 1) He hasn't changed much in 30 years. He's a remarkably stable individual 2) The interests that are the bedrock of our friendship are still there 3) our opinions about various controversial topics still match up 4) He's a remarkably tolerant individual of my many flaws
The reasons I've lost the others include
- They became fanatics about a topic that didn't interest me. For example, a person got really into Non Violent Communication and wanted me too as well, implying my communication was violent
- They became an author with a fan club and our adventures in the past would embarrass them if they came to light
- They went into the oil industry and became a climate change denier
- They became wealthy and high status and my adventures on the wild side of life were embarrassing to them (I've led a Jack Kerouac kind of life, except one that straightened up)
- He became a woman and in her case (not all cases) became less interesting to me
- And of course the recent tragic one: Politics
Some people believe that "people don't change" but I disagree with that. People do change and it's rare to keep a friend for the long term
I'm 64 and I've only kept one life long friendship going on 30 years. All the others are gone and don't want to haven anything to do with me. Thinking about it now, I've kept the one friendship for a few reasons. 1) He hasn't changed much in 30 years. He's a remarkably stable individual 2) The interests that are the bedrock of our friendship are still there 3) our opinions about various controversial topics still match up 4) He's a remarkably tolerant individual of my many flaws
The reasons I've lost the others include
- They became fanatics about a topic that didn't interest me. For example, a person got really into Non Violent Communication and wanted me too as well, implying my communication was violent
- They became an author with a fan club and our adventures in the past would embarrass them if they came to light
- They went into the oil industry and became a climate change denier
- They became wealthy and high status and my adventures on the wild side of life were embarrassing to them (I've led a Jack Kerouac kind of life, except one that straightened up)
- He became a woman and in her case (not all cases) became less interesting to me
- And of course the recent tragic one: Politics
Some people believe that "people don't change" but I disagree with that. People do change and it's rare to keep a friend for the long term