I was voted shyest kid in my high school class. My brain would go white during any attempt at public speaking, and I was super awkward around any new people.
Much of it came from being extremely sensitive. So much worry about what other people thought, and that any esteem in which you may be held could be destroyed at any moment.
A couple things changed: I joined team sports and programming competitions, which strengthened my self-esteem and confidence. Eventually, I grew to understand my lizard brain's reactions could consciously override them. For example, several years back, I was invited to speak at a conference in China, and my first thought was "NOOO" but then I realized I'd regret that and when else do you get to see a new country on someone else's dime? So it's worth optimizing for opportunity. It's kind of like the improv rule. Always say yes, and see where it goes.
But it never completely fades. I'm a seasoned and respected engineer and I still get sweaty hands and an elevated heart rate even when giving status updates to my team of five years.
Much of it came from being extremely sensitive. So much worry about what other people thought, and that any esteem in which you may be held could be destroyed at any moment.
A couple things changed: I joined team sports and programming competitions, which strengthened my self-esteem and confidence. Eventually, I grew to understand my lizard brain's reactions could consciously override them. For example, several years back, I was invited to speak at a conference in China, and my first thought was "NOOO" but then I realized I'd regret that and when else do you get to see a new country on someone else's dime? So it's worth optimizing for opportunity. It's kind of like the improv rule. Always say yes, and see where it goes.
But it never completely fades. I'm a seasoned and respected engineer and I still get sweaty hands and an elevated heart rate even when giving status updates to my team of five years.