I was quite weird in my younger years. I think it's because I thought the real me was unacceptable, so I hid my true thoughts and feelings and spent all of my time putting on an act.
I think the point things started to change for me was when I started listening to other people, rather than sit there worrying about what everyone thought of me. I stopped going into new social situations thinking "oh fuck, what am I going to say?", and instead thought "if I become interested in the other person and what they're talking about, an endless well of conversation will open up".
Through doing this, I got to know people better, and I realized that everyone is kind of weird in their own way. This made me more comfortable in my own skin, and more willing to share the parts of myself that I was ashamed of.
I did the opposite by accident: I was fascinated by older kids when I was young, and they thought I was charming. Then in my 20s most people seemed repetitive, and I had some real social headwinds.
I'm trying to recapture some of that spirit, finding the interesting part of any given person's experience (which is rarely the topics that people small talk about). I'm not naive, some people are more interesting than others, but regardless you have to be intentional.
I think the point things started to change for me was when I started listening to other people, rather than sit there worrying about what everyone thought of me. I stopped going into new social situations thinking "oh fuck, what am I going to say?", and instead thought "if I become interested in the other person and what they're talking about, an endless well of conversation will open up".
Through doing this, I got to know people better, and I realized that everyone is kind of weird in their own way. This made me more comfortable in my own skin, and more willing to share the parts of myself that I was ashamed of.