I know that hipsters and other socially capable people have invaded the technology industry in the last few years, but it should be noted that an entreaty to most technologists to "just have more sex" is extremely unhelpful. Would you tell a homeless person to "just make more money"?
As a matter of fact, telling this to someone whose depression has a large social disconnect component to it may trigger further feelings of inadequacy via the mental model of "I'm the only one who seems to be incapable of doing what is obviously so easy to this person, and everybody else."
The "have sex" comment is less "you suck if you're not getting laid" and more "if you have a SigOther, have sex". I've definitely found myself too tired for it after all the craziness of a day...
The problem is that somebody who is depressed doesn't think rationally - in fact, in the vast majority of the cases this dysfunctional thinking is precisely WHY they are depressed to begin with. They WILL see the advice in the negative way, not the positive way. Furthermore, in cases of severe depression or stress, a diminished sex drive is quite normal so sex isn't even an option - further fueling the feelings of inadequacies mentioned.
Would you tell a homeless person to "just make more money"?
Most homeless people are just plain crazy (e.g. schizophrenic or drug addict) and are unlikely to accept your advice.
However, I would tell a typical non-crazy poor person to work harder [1] and develop moneymaking skills. Similarly, I'd tell a person who isn't getting laid to work harder at getting laid, and also to develop some getting-laid skills (I'd probably point him at pickup artist literature).
I've found that the biggest difference between men who get laid and men who don't is that the former category ask a lot more women to sleep with them.
[1] Most poor people don't work at all and many of those that do work only part time.
This has to be some of the worst advice I've read, work harder and develop money making skills. If only it were so easy given that they are already short on resources (not only money but time) and may be responsible for more than just themselves.
And your comment about homeless is equally ridiculous.
"The recession will force 1.5 million more people into homelessness over the next two years, according to estimates by The National Alliance to End Homelessness. In a 2008 report, the U.S. Conference of Mayors cited a major increase in the number of homeless in 19 out of the 25 cities surveyed. On average, cities reported a 12 percent increase of homelessness since 2007."
Are those people suddenly crazy? Maybe they should just work harder. Right?
Your whole comment speaks to never having actually met or worked with anyone who was really struggling financially. There isn't an easy solution to solve this issue, this myth of just working harder is bullshit. Some of those people are the people doing the jobs nobody else would dream of doing but they work really fucking hard at it and get next to nothing in return. Perhaps even working two of those jobs. Now throw in a kid or two that they are responsible for, just working harder solves nothing.
It seems the causation is not (drunk OR crazy) => homeless but more homeless => (drunk OR crazy). The fundamental attribution error says that to explain a behavior, we frequently overlook situational explanations (upbringing, environment) to favor dispositional explanations(character, identity) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_attribution_error. Same reason why immigrants cause problems, it's not because of them being immigrants but of them living in hard conditions.
I made no claims concerning causality. I only made a factual claim that "most homeless are crazy" and inferred that as a result they would be "are unlikely to accept your advice" (to make more money).
If you have evidence as to the direction of causality, feel free to post it.
My comment was to be read in the context of the discussion, as in, it's not as simple as to tell to homeless people to go "develop their moneymaking skills" and it's not simple because of a myriad of factors, not because they're crazy and drunk (consequence of their situation).
I don't have direct evidence of the causality other than the comment I've posted above.
It's a pity the replies to your insightful comment are focusing purely on your analogy.
While I'm sure these 5 points were made with good intentions, I find them to really miss the point: somebody who is most susceptible to severe depression (of the sort that leads to suicide) is NOT going to be in a position to have sex regularly, to have the motivation to exercise, quite possibly won't have anybody close to them (or will have dysfunctional thoughts about spending time with friends), etc. For somebody who feels they are inadequate and life is hopeless, telling them to do things that seem impossible (because of their depressive mood) will just frustrate them more and 'prove' they are inadequate and life is hopeless, as you say (I've been there, been depressed by those thoughts so I recognize them well).
Even for people susceptible to mild and moderate depressions, these points are risky advice. While these activities are great in principle for maintaining a healthy lifestyle, people must execute them with the correct sense of awareness. Example: encouraging socialising every day can be some of the worst advice you can give somebody who is suffering from depression induced by feelings of low self-esteem brought on by a love/approval addiction. All you do in that case is encourage them to develop social dependence and an avoidance strategy for being alone. People with such issues need to spend time carefully learning to develop self-love and self-esteem, and that requires spending significant amounts of time consciously alone and with others, identifying and analysing their dysfunctional thoughts of being alone/being with others to develop more rational responses.
Same thing applies to telling somebody to have sex regularly: if they are suffering from a love/approval addiction, they could just be feeding this without addressing it. The second their partner leaves them - kaboom. Someone with an achievement addiction (very likely in the context we're discussing) may be similarly setting themselves up unwittingly if they focus too much on goal setting (yes, smaller goals make it less likely to trigger this since smaller goals are more likely to be achieved, but the point is people can become obsessive regardless of the size of the goal.)
Ultimately, AWARENESS is the biggest thing people in our industry can use as a precaution. Learn about depression and how to spot the warning signs, then seek further help if required (self-help, personal therapy, medication or some combination). Curiously, every person in the industry whom I've suggested e.g. David Burns' "Feeling Good" to has been super interested (because they identify with the mood issues and dysfunctional thinking)... until they discover the book is about "depression". This is most unfortunate (but I made the same mistake; fortunately when dysthymia turned into severe depression for me I'd at least read the first chapter of the book a year prior and so could recognize the symptoms).
I know that hipsters and other socially capable people have invaded the technology industry in the last few years, but it should be noted that an entreaty to most technologists to "just have more sex" is extremely unhelpful. Would you tell a homeless person to "just make more money"?
As a matter of fact, telling this to someone whose depression has a large social disconnect component to it may trigger further feelings of inadequacy via the mental model of "I'm the only one who seems to be incapable of doing what is obviously so easy to this person, and everybody else."