No chance whatsoever, they legitimately don't have a flow for unbanning people outside of knowing an employee.

This isn't true. I've been banned and then unbanned in this exact scenario - they re-enabled my account after 2 days. I had my messages flagged as spam for a further 6 weeks, but it was eventually resolved. My only contact with Discord was emailing support@.

No true for me. I was banned and recovered my account within 2 days by emailing abuse@discordapp.com.