The end poem is fine. It doesn’t have particularly interesting rhythm, sound or structure in a ‘poetic’ way until the last bit. It has some weird stops, starts and repetition, but it’s coherent overall and has a functional enough core metaphor. Plus, the payoff is being told you matter, that you’re not alone. You know, the ‘we are all made of stars’ bit. It can be a powerful thought if you let it.
I realize I'm being critical. For me any message contained therein would have landed much more powerfully if it was communicated more gracefully. I, personally, believe that such stylized writing serves more to cover up shortcomings in an author's ability to communicate than it does any service to the reader. But that's my opinion. Maybe don't write the poem on drugs... idk.
Curious where you got that impression? I can't see anything in the bit where he's writing the poem that he mentions anything even vaguely pertaining to drugs.
