I'm there now. The endless cycle of staring at the bedroom ceiling trying to muster the will to get out of bed, the anger at the existencial inertia, the tiny voice inside my head that says "jump" while staring at the abyss. Glad to see you made it out, guess there's still hope out there.
Obviously overcoming the inertia to leetcode a while and go through the interview ringer on top of everything else that's going on in their life is WAY harder than just.. rolling out of bed whenever and logging on until the end of the day.
Respectfully, I don't think your personal experience is an indication of what it would be like for someone else.
If your current situation sucks and you can step away (NOT end your life), do it. Whatever chance exists for things to get better, it's better than sticking with something you know is bad.
This comment comes off a little flippant, but it's also correct.
A therapist can really help get you to a place where you feel more in control of your destiny. From there, you can take real action to get out of a bad situation.
I hate that this became an insult. Therapy can be a really useful thing for a lot of people. I don’t know why some people need to punch down at people who are already hurt.
This entire thread is a cry for help and yet the thing that would probably actually treat the problem is being dismissed. Just say you don't wanna do the work and stop making excuses. It's like complaining that going running could cause you to sprain your ankle when a doctor tells you to run for the health of your heart. Until you try it you have no idea what's gonna happen. Instead you do nothing paralyzed by inaction making excuses. Sounds like my hoarder father.
The meta problem is handwaving away too many toxic working environments with "the root cause of the problem is solved because the victims can get therapy"
The actual root of the problem is the employee's own thinking. They don't have the self respect to exit a bad situation. They are paralyzed by low self esteem, fear of the unknown, and seem to be content being in a bad situation. The reasons are readily unclear to the person experiencing this and so they continue to go through this. A therapist will simply ask pointed questions like "how do you feel about [topic]?" And "why do you think think you deserve [topic]?" The point is to get you to take action by making you gain perspective and depth of self emotional understanding. Sometimes firing someone is the best thing you can do for someone. Op is so used to authority that the prospect of quiting paralyzes them with fear. Meanwhile the person that job hopped for the past 10 years shrugs and moves on with life. I've quit toxic jobs with nothing new lined up and my ability to do so was entirely from my own self respect and confidence. Without that you may never even find your potential. Imagine the work experience this person never attained because they are stuck in a toxic environment. There are life time friends I never would have met if I stuck around that shitty job all those years ago.
We are a highly specialized society with lots of occupations that can help you navigate different kinds of problems. For this kind of problem in particular, try talking to a therapist.
If you are overwhelmed by a plumbing problem, you call a plumber. If your house is burning down, you call the fire department. If your pet has a problem, you go see a veterinarian. This is the same thing. Nobody expects you to be an expert in getting out of every type of problem that exists. Just don't think too hard about it or care too much about what others might think.
And for the love of god, if a therapist isn't working for you within 3 sessions, For fucks sake don't "stick it out".
You're worth it. Get the help you deserve, not what the system is willing to give you on it's first try.
There's nothing worse than a therapist that you know isn't listening to you, and you keep going, because your actual problem is that you can't tell the difference between what's your fault and what's not.
And they never let you or helped you get there.
And you could see it. And you knew that was your fault.
So you didn't say anything.
And besides, you were a rich tech bro, he was employed on a gig platform. He's more economically dependent, ergo he deserves help, ergo I'll stick with him and try to be an easy client.
This is the product of a diseased mind that can't fucking stand up for itself.
So. Fuck TalkSpace.
And whoever reads this. Yes. Find someone else. It's not your responsibility to stick with a therapist that isn't working for you.
If you've gone through five therapists, maybe you're the problem, I don't know. Then open that box.
But you have _my_ permission, to go through five therapists before asking yourself that question.
You also have my permission to ignore that, and believe that you can go through any number of therapists.
I just went through a a devastating break up and the pain was so intense I finally had the motivation to find a therapist and actually show up to an appointment. I've never done therapy before. No one's gonna help you until you help yourself. If you desperately want help you'd actually find some. Otherwise all I'm seeing is excuses.
Honestly based on this comment you clearly need therapy. You're making a toooon of assumptions about me without knowing anything about me. Literally talking like my actually mentally ill ex. Dismissing my trauma while playing up your own. You're probably not even self aware of your own issues.
> Everyone knows therapists exist, but there can be serious hurdles to “getting help”
True.
But also consider there are a class of people who suffer through things thinking "This is not that bad, right? Is this a normal experience"?. And especially an issue if they're isolated (which commonly causes depression), they lack normalcy around them reinforcing "Yes its that bad! That is not normal and you need help!"
Your brain is in a way like any other organ in your body. When the other organs don't work you go see a doctor.
We need to normalize talking about mental health. Instead of making it a big deal and stigmatizing it.
We should be able to casually say "I went to the therapist yesterday and it was great, and then I got some eggs from the supermarket and then I made myself a sandwich".
We spend too much time worrying about what other people think.
