My usual response to this is: ask me in private or in a water cooler chat. I love to talk about programming. And I love learning how others approach things as well.
If the level of trust in a team is high enough that asking such questions is genuinely considered honest and useful then most people ought not to be feeling bad about honest mistakes or characterize feedback as, "snarky," and feeling anger, shame, etc after a code review. If people like these kinds of questions and it helps the team then maybe it should be in the code review guidelines.
For me, I have a hard enough time discerning the intentions of other people. Guidelines remove some of that ambiguity up front so that I can safely assume people are being genuine and it is obvious to everyone else, and me, when they're not.
However, the spirit of the idea is that code reviews shouldn't be leaving you feeling bad about yourself and the mistakes you've made. That could be a you problem but I think it's more common for us to self-doubt than to realize that perhaps the problem may lie with other people. Imposter syndrome, DK, etc, etc all seem to run rampant.
If the level of trust in a team is high enough that asking such questions is genuinely considered honest and useful then most people ought not to be feeling bad about honest mistakes or characterize feedback as, "snarky," and feeling anger, shame, etc after a code review. If people like these kinds of questions and it helps the team then maybe it should be in the code review guidelines.
For me, I have a hard enough time discerning the intentions of other people. Guidelines remove some of that ambiguity up front so that I can safely assume people are being genuine and it is obvious to everyone else, and me, when they're not.
However, the spirit of the idea is that code reviews shouldn't be leaving you feeling bad about yourself and the mistakes you've made. That could be a you problem but I think it's more common for us to self-doubt than to realize that perhaps the problem may lie with other people. Imposter syndrome, DK, etc, etc all seem to run rampant.