I like the analogy and think what he's describing is a big reason relationships fail, but I don't think he's right that you need to make sure scar tissue never occurs in long-term relationships, at least romantic ones. That's an almost impossible goal. I've seen a lot of good relationships, and the level of conflict that exists in them is all over the place. What actually seems to matter is that the people involved learn to repair whatever damage is done after the conflict. That can also happen months or years later. It also requires much less saintliness than avoiding scar-tissue in the first place does.
I agree. Like my physical scars, the ones in my relationships still serve as a useful reminder. Injury is a fact of life and one we should become good at responding to. A comfortable and hassle-free life is virtually impossible (and perhaps not even desirable), so it appears to me that the injuries should be attended to, healed, learned from, then used as a symbol of that process to reflect on.
