Thanks for writing this, it's incredibly cathartic to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way.
Question for the audience: are there places where it isn't like this? Can anyone attest to having worked in places like the one that the author describes, and then escaping to somewhere that isn't like that? If so, are you hiring? Or should I just be content with spending 2 or so years somewhere and then moving on? (2 years seems to be about the natural amount of time it takes for me to fully realize the dysfunction of wherever I'm currently employed)
I feel the same way, been in that occupation for over a decade now, have worked with over a dozen companies in that timeframe (consulting or full time)… I have never experienced a sane environment where a psychopath isn’t in charge. I sincerely don’t think it exists.
I haven’t found the solution you’re looking for. I’ve refused to go back to the grindstone for about two years now. Exploring other avenues such as bizdev because I don’t think I’m physically capable of remaining healthy and being an employee software engineer anymore.
I think the prime quality for the vast majority of software developers isn’t technical skill but rather whether you can settle/give up on your ideals and just drive the bus into the wall whenever asked. If you can’t do that (I can’t), pick another occupation and keep the programming as a side gig thing because it’ll drive you insane and shave years off your life.
> I don’t think I’m physically capable of remaining healthy and being an employee software engineer anymore
I'm sorry to hear that, and that makes me worry about my future in this industry.
However
> If you can’t do that (I can’t), pick another occupation and keep the programming as a side gig thing because it’ll drive you insane and shave years off your life.
Won't this just apply to any career? Or do you think there's something unique about software that leads to this?
> Exploring other avenues such as bizdev
I don't think I fully understand what this entails, can you elaborate?
To some extent, yes. I think SE is a little special in the sense that our job is very taxing mentally but we get very little respect for it. We are considered and managed like assembly line workers, expected to hit absurd deadlines or objectives while being given absolutely no control over the factors influencing these (must work fast, quality be damned; strategy and roadmaps are decided for us instead of with us; we tend to be pushovers and not stand for ourselves). We’re also expected to work like cogs in noisy open space environments with interruptions all day when our work requires intense focus.
Most of us (at least on here) wanted to become SE because we enjoy writing code, finding elegant solutions to difficult problems, and delivering reasonably robust software. The big mismatch is that it’s not what the industry wants: instead the industry wants cheap and fast, nevermind the resulting dumpster fire and constant panic. As a SE you’re at the bottom of the food chain, anything that goes wrong is your responsibility but you’re not allowed to address the root cause for it not to reoccur.
We basically do a very abstract, intellectual job but are managed and considered as if we were just laying bricks in an assembly line.
The cognitive dissonance and low grade permanent stress is what makes so many of us burnt out so badly after 10–15 years in the industry.
Of course this is a generalization. You can be insanely lucky and have amazing management, at a company that’s not so dysfunctional, and have a happy 30–40 years career. But that’s very very rare in my experience. I’ve worked across North America and Europe, had many jobs at many companies, and I’ve never come across such a work environment. However, I have dozens of burnt out SEs in my network of all skill levels, backgrounds, company size, etc.
> bizdev
This is more sales oriented. The earning potential is high because it’s partly commission based so the more you sell the more you make as the company makes 10x more. Having a technical background helps because you can talk shop with technical people on the client’s side and better understand what they need and if your company can provide it at all.
I’m sure it has downsides as well, but the thought of being a salaried SE again makes me physically sick and I don’t want to throw away my decade + of tech experience. So that’s the avenue I’m exploring at the moment to see if it suits me better.
Overall, and whatever you end up doing, know that burn out is prevalent in our industry. Keep your costs very low so you can save 70–80% of your paycheck and retire early and/or afford to not work for a long while if you need to.
I have had the good fortune of many, many blog readers with years of life experience writing in to me, and there are indeed places that aren't like this. They tend to be extremely small and have awesome owners.
Everywhere big seems to trend towards some level of garbage. However, the spectrum is massive. The worst place is many times worse than the average place, and the average place is many, many times worse than the best place.
Question for the audience: are there places where it isn't like this? Can anyone attest to having worked in places like the one that the author describes, and then escaping to somewhere that isn't like that? If so, are you hiring? Or should I just be content with spending 2 or so years somewhere and then moving on? (2 years seems to be about the natural amount of time it takes for me to fully realize the dysfunction of wherever I'm currently employed)