>> And especially tons of modern-life induced stress
Actually there was an article on HN a few days ago which differentiated work-related distress between stress (induced by too much work) and anxiety (induced by too little work).
It's become a nuisance in the background now after many years but each new task usually brings both these 'joys':
1) When I first get "Do/change/add X into the giant ball of mud of application that noone completely understands", I first get anxiety. Literally I have no idea not just how am I going to implement that but if it's at all possible. The definition of "anxiety caused by too little work" still goes, because I'm not "working" (not anything palpable like lines of code that can be measured and PRs be made). I'm just 'thinking', but that isn't much considered in business. Can't charge the customers for 'thinking', you need to produce.
2) Once I get familiar with the complexity involved and have some idea on how things can be solved, it's already too late in the sprint phase, it should have been done already. Now follows stress of delivering on time the 'commitment'. Not to mention that I usually implement half the task before stumbling into new evidence that changes the equation enough to require a different approach or further 'thinking' all while time is running out and commitments are not met.
Task solved, another one pops up, rinse and repeat #1-#2.
Very relatable. What helps is just starting out a prototype immediately in stage (1), not caring about thinking it through deeply first. Then that "new evidence that changes the equation enough to require a different approach" arrives faster and is easier to incorporate. Plus, you get to be seen as "working" all the time (from the point of view of others, which would otherwise consider your pure thinking stage as 'slacking')!
Essentially you'd be doing the "thinking" by actively coding (at least a minimum solution), instead of thinking about the problem abstractly first. Though I often do it just like you described it, with all the issues you mentioned.
Yep, a solution that you rewrote a thousand times as you understood more, is still better than one perfect solution that occupied your head for several days along with the stress of having not implemented anything yet
You are a smart person I think if you are worrying about this. I suggest finding a different job completely that does not involve technology. From observing many colleagues including ones that have had breakdowns, I think there is no healthy workspace in tech, only people that seem healthy because there are a few exceptional resistant ones.
Actually there was an article on HN a few days ago which differentiated work-related distress between stress (induced by too much work) and anxiety (induced by too little work).
It's become a nuisance in the background now after many years but each new task usually brings both these 'joys':
1) When I first get "Do/change/add X into the giant ball of mud of application that noone completely understands", I first get anxiety. Literally I have no idea not just how am I going to implement that but if it's at all possible. The definition of "anxiety caused by too little work" still goes, because I'm not "working" (not anything palpable like lines of code that can be measured and PRs be made). I'm just 'thinking', but that isn't much considered in business. Can't charge the customers for 'thinking', you need to produce.
2) Once I get familiar with the complexity involved and have some idea on how things can be solved, it's already too late in the sprint phase, it should have been done already. Now follows stress of delivering on time the 'commitment'. Not to mention that I usually implement half the task before stumbling into new evidence that changes the equation enough to require a different approach or further 'thinking' all while time is running out and commitments are not met.
Task solved, another one pops up, rinse and repeat #1-#2.