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Your proposal is so bizarrely out of proportion with the harm caused that I can’t tell if it’s parody or not. Why not execute them while you’re at it?


That would be cruel and unusual — their families and friends would needlessly suffer. They'll need to be executed too.


I recommend we summarily execute people who don’t use the middle lane to go straight at an intersection, blocking everyone else from turning right on red; I feel as if jail time for these executives was pretty reasonable.




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