I've been interested in pain and pain management since having a drunk driver crash into us. I've even moderated a panel of doctors who specialized in pain.
How people deal with acute vs chronic pain can be very different. One doctor blew my mind when he described chronic pain as a spousal relationship. It's something you have to live with and work with. You can't ignore or bully pain.
Also men and women deal with pain differently. Most men describe a heart attack as the worst pain ever. Many women have ignored heart attacks because it wasn't as bad as their period pains. Women also describe kidney stones as worse than childbirth.
I had a friend go in to the doctor and described the pain as a 5. But the doctor noticed they were sweating because of pain, which made it at least a 7 in their experience as that was an involuntary physical response.
I've been to places not described on the pain scale, when I was recovering from surgery the IV drop ran out, the pain was so bad my spirit phased out of my body slightly so I was less aware of the pain but could still see the nurse running around trying to load another bag into the IV dispenser.
I can tell when a bad storm is coming because it feels like water running down the inside of my leg bone, like runoff down a gutter.
Some days the pain is dull and I can get irritated easily, but some over the counter pain medications are helpful. So if I am going to the doctor I've already exhausted the available options, so pain is high priority to me as I can't do things.
I have also noticed that men's pain is taken more seriously than women's pain. Redheads get less pain relief and if you are person of color, especially a female, doctors take your pain least seriously. It makes me wonder how they actually teach in med school for that to happen.
Describing the pain in terms of what work I can and cannot do gets more attention than anything else.
It is crazy to me that womens’ pain is so ignored. I’ve always (half-) joked that if men got periods, there would be 30 alternatives to midol by the end of the month. Maybe we’re just better at crying like babies?
As a chronic pain sufferer, I experienced the same as you, explaining where I am limited in life rather than expressing how much pain I’m in gets much better results.
A similar problem I’ve had is that I tell my doctors I have terrible sinus pain. Often the response to that is that I should consider allergy meds, as well as a confirmation that I am indeed “pretty stuffed up”.
But when I say I cannot sleep a full 8 hours due to sinus blockage, suddenly we need sleep evaluations, humidifiers, antihistamines prescribed, methods for lubricating my sinuses, netti pots, etc.
>if men got periods, there would be 30 alternatives to midol by the end of the month
Not trying to get political or anything, but seems women make up like 40-50% of the biotech and pharmaceutical sciences jobs from my quick search. It seems like there are plenty of people making drugs that know what periods feel like.
Chronic “pain” as a spouse is the perfect metaphor. I can’t push through it, I have to use patience and understanding and it’s always somewhere on my mind. That’s the only way to make progress or be sane long term. I’ve grown and matured because of it. I’ve also experienced the post surgery pain that briefly takes you out of this world. For a split second I was in the Hell dimension a la Event Horizon the movie before I had taken my first dose of opiates and had adjusted my arm too much. I don’t mean the pain was hellishly bad; I didn’t cry out which is probably what a 10/10 pain would elicit. It was more like dread and “seeing” but not with vision the mutilated flesh and gore inside my repaired wrist.
I have an (apparently, probably) high pain threshold and doctors have told me it's related to my red hair. What's worrying is that from the inside I don't think it's all that high— I pop midol like candy on my period, I've got chronic neck pain, sinus issues, I'm properly miserable with a sore throat. And your telling me that basically everyone else has it worse?!
How people deal with acute vs chronic pain can be very different. One doctor blew my mind when he described chronic pain as a spousal relationship. It's something you have to live with and work with. You can't ignore or bully pain.
Also men and women deal with pain differently. Most men describe a heart attack as the worst pain ever. Many women have ignored heart attacks because it wasn't as bad as their period pains. Women also describe kidney stones as worse than childbirth.
I had a friend go in to the doctor and described the pain as a 5. But the doctor noticed they were sweating because of pain, which made it at least a 7 in their experience as that was an involuntary physical response.
I've been to places not described on the pain scale, when I was recovering from surgery the IV drop ran out, the pain was so bad my spirit phased out of my body slightly so I was less aware of the pain but could still see the nurse running around trying to load another bag into the IV dispenser.
I can tell when a bad storm is coming because it feels like water running down the inside of my leg bone, like runoff down a gutter. Some days the pain is dull and I can get irritated easily, but some over the counter pain medications are helpful. So if I am going to the doctor I've already exhausted the available options, so pain is high priority to me as I can't do things.
I have also noticed that men's pain is taken more seriously than women's pain. Redheads get less pain relief and if you are person of color, especially a female, doctors take your pain least seriously. It makes me wonder how they actually teach in med school for that to happen.
Describing the pain in terms of what work I can and cannot do gets more attention than anything else.