Maybe these aren't the "same men", but it's interesting that men see and admit this phenomenon exists in the reverse (Men prefer cuter/sportier/more natural looking women and that a lot of what women do to look good is meant to appeal to other women) but not the reverse?
But even I can sort of look at the two pictures, and my gut reaction is, I'd like to look like the guy on the right, but I'd rather be friends with the guy on the left. Maybe it's a feeling of safety? Maybe a little pudge is like imagining being curled up on a warm sofa rather than a cot of metal coils? But then maybe, just to sort of give this a little credence. While I'd like to be friends with the guy on the left. There is a part of me that's like. Maybe I'd ask the guy on the right for advice on my stock portfolio? Tips to get ahead in the workplace? I do value some of those things, but not in my close personal life. I am transactional in the spaces it matters.
"It is, after all, a special case of the central liberal delusion that all people are the same"
lol this was not going the direction I thought, this person apparently has the completely opposite thesis I do.
I'll not another weird thing about this "liberal delusion that all people are the same" is that they seem committed to category theory. They're very committed to the idea that men and women are not the same, but sort of equally suspicious of the idea that there are strong within group differences. i.e. they want to say something like all women are all the same and all men are all the same and all women are different from all men in some substantial way.
>"I'd like to look like the guy on the right, but I'd rather be friends with the guy on the left"
This exactly. But I think the photo itself plays into that as well. It's not just a "safety" thing. (I'm not disagreeing that that's an aspect of it as well, though.)
The pose in the photo on the left comes off as more casual. "Hey, okay, I'm at the gym. Sure, let's do this before photo thing". The pose on the right comes off as "look at me! I'm showing off!". I mean, sure, nothing wrong with that in this context. I'd be proud too. But it's harder to relate to the person photographed as explicitly trying to be a show off than to the same person in a more casual (but still posed) position. The photograph on the left just comes off as a bit more humble and relatable just due to the pose / general vibe.
12-weeks for that means Ozempic and steroids to turn oneself into an action figure. A 6-week photo with less dramatic gym rat vibes would have been interesting to poll against.
Another interpretation might be. I don't know whether to call this class based or what, but I think there's sort of a divide in the world around what people think there role is.
Like I think my role is to be relatively, I dunno, sort of pro-social. "Middle Class" It's not that I don't occasionally find like models and celebrities attractive, and it's not that I don't gaze at women, but like I don't think it's my role to maximally optimize the partner I'm looking for. Partially probably because I'm an awkward weird nerd, but I'm mostly looking to find the person that best complements me, not the person that maximizes my social value.
But like so many people can't seem to imagine that there are people in this world that don't see things in a completely transactional darwinian way, as evidenced by the core narrative the author recites, and I sort of can't see the opposite - why one would put objective value/beauty over subjective happiness.
From the perspective of an 80-year-old who has been through numerous "serious" relationships, and finally found my match at the age of 55, you seem to be unusually mature. Best of luck in your adventures -- and don't be desperate. Even a relationship with a finite lifetime can be incredibly rewarding, you will definitely develop relationship "skills" that will make the next one even better, and when you find someone with as good an attitude as yours, you have a good shot at a lifetime together.
I feel like the way they communicate is very understandable from a male perspective despite it normally being something somewhat frustrating or confusing. Liberals used to be (theoretically) hellbent on equality to such a degree that sometimes it opposed common sense. It is still somewhat controversial to say in a liberal circle that there are some differences in the genders (and the ways they think) that are sometimes significant, but that it's okay and that we don't have to force people to be unnatural to be more "equal" to an infinite extent. There is an innocent sadness to the thought that a significant other will never 100% understand every neuron in your brain, but there's probably positives to that too.
But even I can sort of look at the two pictures, and my gut reaction is, I'd like to look like the guy on the right, but I'd rather be friends with the guy on the left. Maybe it's a feeling of safety? Maybe a little pudge is like imagining being curled up on a warm sofa rather than a cot of metal coils? But then maybe, just to sort of give this a little credence. While I'd like to be friends with the guy on the left. There is a part of me that's like. Maybe I'd ask the guy on the right for advice on my stock portfolio? Tips to get ahead in the workplace? I do value some of those things, but not in my close personal life. I am transactional in the spaces it matters.
"It is, after all, a special case of the central liberal delusion that all people are the same"
lol this was not going the direction I thought, this person apparently has the completely opposite thesis I do.
I'll not another weird thing about this "liberal delusion that all people are the same" is that they seem committed to category theory. They're very committed to the idea that men and women are not the same, but sort of equally suspicious of the idea that there are strong within group differences. i.e. they want to say something like all women are all the same and all men are all the same and all women are different from all men in some substantial way.