This really sucked to read and it's not because it made me aware of my failings and what to change, it's because it realized no matter how effective I am at what I do and no matter how much I try to counteract my body's natural tendencies (increasing stress and likely lowering health and shortening my lifespan) and no matter how much I try to be responsible and give times I can commit to, jerks like this guy will always find me "lazy" and make a point to badmouth me to others.
Never mind that there are actual studies by experts (who this guy is not) describing the condition and never mind that the original article was all about finding ways to counteract it. OP's lazy. And I'm lazy. Not only that but we're not just lazy but maybe we have some good traits, it's a deep and overarching character flaw that means we are not even decent people.
Best that this guy come in real quick and make sure that we don't even for a second stop beating ourselves up and feeling guilt to the core of our being.
Ever since high school when I was expected to start maintaining my own schedule, I had trouble getting to sleep and trouble waking up, and not for trying. I would set alarms and try all the smug tricks and it didn't matter. Literally I would turn the alarms off and disable the alarms despite how many obstacles, passcodes, or puzzles I put in the way. It's never been a matter of waking up and then deciding I wanted more sleep.
I tried everything: exercising late, not exercising late, reading, lying awake and trying to just sleep, caffeine to wake up, avoiding caffeine, alcohol, melatonin, herbal teas, narcotics, and on and on. Hey, that effort doesn't count. I'm lazy.
I would try to make reasonable compromises at work and instead of simple (legally required) accommodations I would be reminded that I'm lazy. And then usually the manager or coworker would make a point of scheduling a brand new meeting for 08:00 or 09:00 on a regular basis. They'd either smirk or outright tell me it was to teach me a lesson. On account of my laziness.
I've tried to get involved in community events. Some unconferences were put together on Saturday at 09:00 (be there even earlier if you want a t-shirt or a chance to speak). So I'd make my best attempt to get up extra early, fail, and get there and all speaking slots were filled up and no swag. Suggested maybe we should have a way to sign up ahead of time and got told that if you cared about the community you would bother to put in the effort to come early. Because we don't want to hear from any lazy people.
I had a client project with a friend lately. I estimated the whole thing, laid out requirements and prerequisites (I thought I was being responsible but I guess that was trying to plan ahead a way to be lazy). Worked my ass off, then a series of shit happened from the client and my friend freaked out, probably because he hadn't followed through on any of his business-related responsibilities. Called me at midnight after I'd worked all day (all day) and said he needed me to write a report and then wake up to call the client first thing in the morning. I said I could work on the report the next day and we could call in the afternoon, but was rebuked because if I couldn't bother to keep traditional hours (he said, calling me at midnight) then I was going to make us fail and all was my fault and this was why I was a failure. I still talk to that person but I can never see him the same way and never trust him for business again.
It doesn't matter how much extra time you put in, how good you are at what you do, and how carefully you plan what you commit to. People will pull the rug out from under you and then blame you, and for many other things there is an out or reasonable people will disagree. But no one ever disagrees that I'm lazy.
Now I am lucky enough that I can just barely drag myself out earlier in the day now. But I can't do it sustainably and I take no credit. All I can think is it's that I've gotten a little older and my body needs slightly less sleep or the pattern shifted slightly. One thing that does often help me personally is that software that tracks your sleep vibrations on the bed to wake you at a light-sleep time. The developer of that should be chastized for enabling laziness. I don't know how long it will last. My only hope is to pull it off long enough to get into an essential role or to make it impossible for an employer to squirm out of ADA requirements.
But I should never hope for too much career success. After all, at heart, I'm lazy.
Never mind that there are actual studies by experts (who this guy is not) describing the condition and never mind that the original article was all about finding ways to counteract it. OP's lazy. And I'm lazy. Not only that but we're not just lazy but maybe we have some good traits, it's a deep and overarching character flaw that means we are not even decent people.
Best that this guy come in real quick and make sure that we don't even for a second stop beating ourselves up and feeling guilt to the core of our being.
Ever since high school when I was expected to start maintaining my own schedule, I had trouble getting to sleep and trouble waking up, and not for trying. I would set alarms and try all the smug tricks and it didn't matter. Literally I would turn the alarms off and disable the alarms despite how many obstacles, passcodes, or puzzles I put in the way. It's never been a matter of waking up and then deciding I wanted more sleep.
I tried everything: exercising late, not exercising late, reading, lying awake and trying to just sleep, caffeine to wake up, avoiding caffeine, alcohol, melatonin, herbal teas, narcotics, and on and on. Hey, that effort doesn't count. I'm lazy.
I would try to make reasonable compromises at work and instead of simple (legally required) accommodations I would be reminded that I'm lazy. And then usually the manager or coworker would make a point of scheduling a brand new meeting for 08:00 or 09:00 on a regular basis. They'd either smirk or outright tell me it was to teach me a lesson. On account of my laziness.
I've tried to get involved in community events. Some unconferences were put together on Saturday at 09:00 (be there even earlier if you want a t-shirt or a chance to speak). So I'd make my best attempt to get up extra early, fail, and get there and all speaking slots were filled up and no swag. Suggested maybe we should have a way to sign up ahead of time and got told that if you cared about the community you would bother to put in the effort to come early. Because we don't want to hear from any lazy people.
I had a client project with a friend lately. I estimated the whole thing, laid out requirements and prerequisites (I thought I was being responsible but I guess that was trying to plan ahead a way to be lazy). Worked my ass off, then a series of shit happened from the client and my friend freaked out, probably because he hadn't followed through on any of his business-related responsibilities. Called me at midnight after I'd worked all day (all day) and said he needed me to write a report and then wake up to call the client first thing in the morning. I said I could work on the report the next day and we could call in the afternoon, but was rebuked because if I couldn't bother to keep traditional hours (he said, calling me at midnight) then I was going to make us fail and all was my fault and this was why I was a failure. I still talk to that person but I can never see him the same way and never trust him for business again.
It doesn't matter how much extra time you put in, how good you are at what you do, and how carefully you plan what you commit to. People will pull the rug out from under you and then blame you, and for many other things there is an out or reasonable people will disagree. But no one ever disagrees that I'm lazy.
Now I am lucky enough that I can just barely drag myself out earlier in the day now. But I can't do it sustainably and I take no credit. All I can think is it's that I've gotten a little older and my body needs slightly less sleep or the pattern shifted slightly. One thing that does often help me personally is that software that tracks your sleep vibrations on the bed to wake you at a light-sleep time. The developer of that should be chastized for enabling laziness. I don't know how long it will last. My only hope is to pull it off long enough to get into an essential role or to make it impossible for an employer to squirm out of ADA requirements.
But I should never hope for too much career success. After all, at heart, I'm lazy.