>>> I feel so empty and like I am fake. It has been two years. I haven't said this to anyone before now.
When I last felt like that, I did the same thing. I said nothing to anyone for about 18 months. Eventually, I did talk to someone over a few drinks one night - not someone particularly close to me, just a friend. They didn't say anything profound, they weren't hugely supportive, they didn't offer a new perspective or anything from their own experience. But that outpouring of my feelings was, I recognise now, the first step of the healing process for me - a little like lancing a boil. Kind of silly, but that's the human psyche for you. I can't guarantee that it'll work for you, but it worked for me. Think about trying it?
When I last felt like that, I did the same thing. I said nothing to anyone for about 18 months. Eventually, I did talk to someone over a few drinks one night - not someone particularly close to me, just a friend. They didn't say anything profound, they weren't hugely supportive, they didn't offer a new perspective or anything from their own experience. But that outpouring of my feelings was, I recognise now, the first step of the healing process for me - a little like lancing a boil. Kind of silly, but that's the human psyche for you. I can't guarantee that it'll work for you, but it worked for me. Think about trying it?