It sounds like you are struggling with a fairly serious combination of stress / anxiety / depression / disappointment. I know that you have dreams of turning your big ideas into reality, but the more important thing now is to stabilize your life, deepen your knowledge about the world and subjects that interest you, and create a clear path where you can see yourself succeeding in the next few years.
The reality may be that now isn't the time to be out of school and working on a startup on your own. I would seriously consider going back to college, learning everything you can while there, and then making your next move once you are feeling more stable. While there, focus on not putting too much pressure on yourself to change the world. If you want to stand a chance at "changing the world", you will first need to spend some time in a stable place where you can learn to manage your psychological state.
College also comes with the opportunity to deepen your knowledge base so you have more to offer the world. Once you have managed to get your life and emotional state under control, you will in a better place to figure out how to turn your big ideas into reality.
The reality may be that now isn't the time to be out of school and working on a startup on your own. I would seriously consider going back to college, learning everything you can while there, and then making your next move once you are feeling more stable. While there, focus on not putting too much pressure on yourself to change the world. If you want to stand a chance at "changing the world", you will first need to spend some time in a stable place where you can learn to manage your psychological state.
College also comes with the opportunity to deepen your knowledge base so you have more to offer the world. Once you have managed to get your life and emotional state under control, you will in a better place to figure out how to turn your big ideas into reality.