I don't have a short attention span and I'm not hyperactive. I spend a lot of time thinking about things. I deduce things noticeably faster than my peers as long as it's not socially related. I have intense focus as long as something remains stimulating. When things lose my interest or are pointless they become tedious and it's not about attention span. I cannot stop worrying about assigned tasks to the point of anxiety. There is a mental barrier and I cannot work on the task despite intentions and efforts to do so. Medications don't really help me. They do at first, then they become less effective. An interesting side note about meds: The first time on meds I finally could see social cues and body language. It was a whole new world. I still see them off the meds now that I know about them but I may have trouble understanding what they mean due to lack of experience in receiving those signals. Getting proper sleep, nutrition, and having regular, serious exercise help more than meds. The affliction is very real. Just because you can't see it or refuse to believe in it doesn't change the fact that it impacts the lives of others.
Something to think about: it's possible you have more than one named disorder (though they could be related in chemistry). When I first started ADHD meds I had a similar reaction as you, though I wound up in actual panic attacks from the anxiety. When I treated the anxiety with an ultra-low dose then everything came out perfect.
I've since stopped the anxiety med and feel I've trained myself a little more on how to handle it. I have my moments but have the skills I need now to recognize those moments and bring myself down. Luckily one can do that with mild anxiety, unlike ADHD...
The biggest non-medicinal benefits are absolutely sleep, nutrition, and exercise -- you're right. Without a good foundation, nothing can be built.
> "I don't have a short attention span and I'm not hyperactive"
I thought these were the defining characteristics of ADHD? I'm sorry, please forgive my lack of familiarity.
> "When things lose my interest or are pointless they become tedious"...
I don't understand how this is considered a symptom of anything. To me, this is entirely normal. Things that you aren't interested in should be tedious. The mental barrier you speak of is internal honesty - you don't find importance or interest in X, and consequently, motivation doesn't emerge.
You speak with the world view of a neurotypical human. I'm happy for you.
For the perspective of the broken toys in the box, let me explain. :)
When an NT is asked to do a boring, repetitive task, he'll do it for eight hours and then get drunk afterwards to recover. Good job.
When an ADHD-afflicted individual is asked to do a boring, repetitive task, he'll do it for about five minutes and then spend eight hours trying to find a way to not do it again. Or stare at the wall. Or berate himself for not working. Or rack up a disabling level of anxiety because he's not working.
You present this as something everyone does, and you're right to. The disorder comes in when someone cannot do it. Not that the person will not muster some internal whatever to push on, but that the person's brain is physically incapable of doing it. The same kind of incapable as a major depressive being incapable of talking himself out of an anxiety-induced depression.
When it's a disorder, it's a disorder. The problem is that so many people see the high numbers of people being diagnosed and write it off as a fad. It's not. Maybe the numbers are high and some are being misdiagnosed, or maybe we're learning about all the edge cases. I don't know. I do know it exists and it's an impairment and it goes well beyond basic motivation.
I've had "do it or you're fired" moments where THAT wasn't enough to motivate me, and I had a very real fear of being unemployed.
First of all, thank you for this in-depth response. It beats the hell out of anonymous and explanation-less downvotes.
I had never come across the word neurotypical before your comment and now, after reading the corresponding wikipedia page, I am aware that it does characterize me (i.e. "anyone who does not have autism, dyslexia, developmental coordination disorder, bipolar disorder, ADD/ADHD, or other similar conditions").
For the majority of elementary, middle, and secondary school, I fit your anecdote pretty well, minus the getting drunk part (I was young, sheltered, and without access to or interest in alcohol).
However, after sophomore year or so, I realized how much time I had wasted pushing through boring, repetitive tasks, and I grew incapable of completing assignments. This turning point left me in the position of ADHD-afflicted individuals for the final two years of high school. Call it burnout, early senioritous, or whatever - the symptoms were the same. With fear of college app rejections as my motivation (like your fear of unemployment), I couldn't bring myself to do mandatory, largely weighted assignments. They were just too boring, meaningless. Somehow I remained motivated up until then. I really don't know how, to be honest.
Out of curiosity, how would you say my realization [and subsequent drop-off in academic performance] relate to ADHD and NT?
On another note, are A
DHD-afflicted individuals literally incapable of mustering the "internal whatever" you speak of? Is the ability to conjure motivation entirely absent? It's really hard to compare similarly subjective abilities, like pain thresholds and the like.
Even if this incapability is just that: a true incapability, I'm not certain that portrayal of ADHD as an affliction is a net-benefit. It seems better for people to believe in their own capabilities, even when many are literally incapable, as you say. Similarly, the belief in free will is good for people and society - even if free will is obviously nonexistent. Determinism yields higher rates of depression and discourages self-responsibility.
The Diagnosis of ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) has been folded into ADHD as a subtype Attention Deficit HyperActivity Disorder- Primarily Inattentive.
It is a symptom when normal people even if they are disinterested in a task can still summon the level of focus needed to effectively complete a task. That is a much harder proposition for someone with an attention deficit syndrome condition.
